Seriously, what the fuck have I been doing all these years? I've said before that I didn't get into music for the money, because seriously there is no fucking money in music. Not substantial anyways. Well...there is for Beyonce and Bono and Chris Martin and dumb ass Kanye, but as any of you that have read my book now know, there is basically no money to be made. Only for a few. The elite. The...ONE PERCENTERS. #VOTETRUMP2016
You guys gotta be tired of hearing me complain about how being in a band sucks and no money and all that bullshit. Lets talk about something POSITIVE. Book publishing is AWESOME. I am having a fucking blast with this process. And it's not because there is a lot of money involved. There ain't. Well, not yet anyways. You want to know why I love it so much? Possibly even more than I loved being in a band? FREEDOM.
Freedom to basically do whatever the hell I want to do. This ain't a group project. I hated group projects in school. Typically I don't work well with others. Especially not at this point in life. 32 years and it already feels like I'm running out of time on earth. That's pretty ridiculous I know, but waiting on other people to figure out what to do or having to consult and collaborate about artistic decisions or logistics of how to promote, when to promote, where to promote, when to tour, how to tour, who to tour with, what shirt to print, what to sell them for, what vehicle we taking, what crew we hiring, where we gonna practice, how long we gonna practice, where are we getting lunch, where are we drinking, where we sleeping...IS EXHAUSTING.
Being on your own is exhausting in different ways. After all, it's ALL ON YOU. Yes I do have the help of BC Words (BadChristian). I'm not meaning to imply that I have no help. But what I mean is that, even with a publisher or a record label, it's a tremendous amount of work and dedication to release something creative into the world for people to consume. No matter how much publisher or label help you have, or how many fans say they will tell their friends or leave a review on Amazon, NOBODY on earth cares more than the person who created the product. The pressure to go out and sell it and get people excited is the responsibility of the creator.
There is this super neurotic and frustrating mindset I have about this book that I keep ranting about to my wife. The idea that this thing is OUT there, ready to be purchased at the push of a button on a keyboard or smartphone, is...overwhelming. "I MEAN WHY DON'T 1 MILLION PEOPLE JUST GO BUY THE BOOK RIGHT NOW!??? WHY DOESN'T THAT JUST HAPPEN?!?" HA.
Of course, I jest. I mean I really did scream that last night. But, it was a joke with massive of amounts of truth behind the sentiment. The possibilities are endless with a book. It's so fucking awesome. And the financial rewards, they aren't split up with other dudes. Instead of getting $1 every time a t-shirt is sold, or $0.01 every time a CD is sold, I get anywhere from $3 - $5 per book sold. Yeah, I just put that out there. Cause I ain't here to bullshit you guys. That's what I make per book.
There is also the reward of getting to hear from a lot of you guys and discuss the book in a genuine and honest way. For all my bullshit that I put out there that makes me out to be such an asshole, It means a lot when people appreciate my writing and even more when they actually connect with it in a meaningful way. I don't want to spoil details of the book, but later down the road I will write more about a very intense section of the book, and how it has affected some of you and in turn, "re-affected" me.
SO. I'm about to do something unheard of on this blog. I'm about to encourage y'all to do something. WRITE A BOOK. It's awesome. Quit your band (I guess if I had quit my band to write a book ten years ago, nobody would want to read my book now...damn). Ok maybe don't quit your band. But diversify. I really wish I had started writing a long time ago. I hope I get to keep writing for a long time. This would be a pretty cool career. Don't mistake that for meaning "easy career". I can already see how fucking hard this is, and I am just getting started. But I LOVE IT. And if you are doing something you love, it won't feel like work right? #cliche
Crazy person/Panic Attack update - I am on some sweet meds (anti-depressant) and a blood pressure pill (for the panic/adrenaline) and I feel FUCKING GREAT. Clear mind, full heart. Love you guys.